posted by Llama Chris on Mar 26
It seems like every day now that the postman stops by our house to knock on the door and personally deliver some kind of parcel. Only yesterday it was nice new ‘In the Beginning Bag…’, now with all new special website address printed along side the picture. See if you can make it out in this picture, which you may not be able to as it seems to be more focused on me posing than the beautiful, beautiful merchandise.
If that simply isn’t enough to make me feel important, today I recieved something even more special. Not content to carry around a bag that proclaims something about visiting a website, I thought that my life would never be complete until I enjoyed the capacity to carry around hundreds of business cards on my person so as to be able to thrust them upon each and every unwitting person that inadvertantly crosses my path.
So, I was not 100% unsurprised when a box arrived today inside a suspiciously unmarked box labelled, “Priority”. I love international post. I do realise that I ordered it express post (well, in all honestly that was the only option they gave me), but the fact that I ordered it the week of Easter, and recieved it only the week after, originating in the United States, makes me a very happy man.
But then again, regular post from Australia to Estonia still seems a lot faster than sending mail from Geelong to Melbourne (a distance of 70 odd kilometres).
The contents of the box even looked important. They smelled important, and the little slips of cards looked like the numbered in the thousands. I am thinking that maybe I should have ordered the 2000 cards, just so that I could have felt four times as important as owning 500 cards allows me to feel.
I piled them high just to bask in my own self importance.
And now all that is required is finding the victims to thrust these upon…
posted by Llama Chris on Feb 10
I was lying awake late last night, pondering the meaning of existence and things like that when a really significant thought struck me. There I was, lying there, and the little voice that lives inside my brain asked me, “So, if we lived in a world in which Llamas were people and people were Llamas, would Llamas think it funny to make shirts centered around people?”
I just thought of all the outrageous possibilities that these LLamas would come up with, and how funny they might think they were. There’d be one, like Count Dracuperson and he’d look like… well, the famous literary character Dracullama, but instead of being normal and being a llama… he’d look like a person. Hence the name, Count Dracuperson.
Or designs based around religious figures, like the Buddhist spiritual leader, the Dalai Llama… there would be a version of him that would be the Dalai Human. The Llamas would get such a kick out of that.
That was my contribution to society for today, a lot more valuable than selling video games, don’t you think? Anyway, back to the real world for me…
posted by Llama Chris on Jan 23
I thought that it was about time to start writing blogs. I figured that since I’m a Llama specialist now that I should also write blogs about the site and all things llama because Llamas write blogs. In fact I’m pretty sure that I read somewhere once that the first blog ever created (at least, the first blog that identified itself as a ‘blog’) was documented as having been written by a llama.
You may raise your eyebrows in bewilderment at that statement, but when you think about it for a bit you’ve got to realise that most of the llamas in the world spend most, if not all, of their lives cooped up in these tiny little paddocks without a whole lot to do. Most other llamas I’ve seen haven’t really even got anything interesting in their paddocks, not even a tree to relax under when harsh sun beats down upon a wooly llamas back.
So you’re in a paddock, nothing to do, see, or look at… what do you do? You do things like discover penicillin, write the greatest theatre production ever written, invent the internet, run for president, and write blogs.
So if that is what llamas do, then that is what I too shall do.
Next time, more llamas! I’ll see you there!
- Llama Chris.